People love to talk about Themselves!

We're inherently narcissists, let's face it. Even if they had opposable thumbs i doubt the dinosaurs would have came up with such worthwhile activities as Blogging and Facebook, given a few more millenia to hone their technological capabilities. If their time was survival of the fittest ours would sadly be survival of the ...................... Put your answers on the bottom to that one, i have my view but i think it will be an interesting experiment to see what you would all come up with.

Consequently I always recommend if you are ever interviewed by anyone, ask them questions that get them talking about the things they enjoy or were successful in, because bottom line, people like talking about themselves. I have helped a lot of people write personal statements recently, for Med school, Law school, various Grad school and Scholarship programs. And for some reason they all commonly say "i find it hard to write about myself" This prompted me to ruminate on this one a little. Why is it that we freely love talking about ourselves (some more than others) but have such difficulty in writing it down, as if somehow writing it down is confirmation of our arrogance and machiavellian ways. For all of the folks that will undoubtedly challenge this, yes there are exceptions to the rule, we know this, so shut up, no one wants to hear from you.

I challenge anyone to deny they have ever made the claim that they "possess excellent communication skills," except for the girl who fainted in my English class one time because she freaked about giving a presentation and the guy who my friend knows who puked on stage at a pretty big presentation. If he nailed it from there, that guy is a legend. Anyway i digress, the point is that we all at some point have to be good at this, whether it is a resume, interview, presentation or personal statement, we have undoubtedly been called upon to discuss and prove our inner workings and abilities. But what exactly are "excellent communication skills, both written and oral." There are sure to be countless wikioogle definitions more scientific than mine, but i'll say it is to get across one's point and for it to have the desired effect. You can't of course arrive at the second part of that statement without being good at the first part, nevertheless I find it better to always focus on the end result because if it is worth it, you'll find a way to get your point across.

Let's look at the oral part. There is a difference between confidence and arrogance, cross it at your peril. Nothing worse than a know it all, or someone who has a story or joke to beat every story or who demands to be the center of attention at every gathering, grrrr this one is irritating and i would like to punch these people in the guts. This is the person who answers the biggest weakness question with the "well i don't know, i've never really thought about that" or heaven forbid "honestly i've tried but i just cannot think of one, you pick one" Please however do not take this to mean that you cannot talk about yourself. Successes need to be celebrated, good stories need to be told and qualities and abilities always need to be highlighted, a little bit of humility here and there, maybe allow other people to have their voice be heard and get their moment in the sun. Thankfully most people can grasp this and can effectively present themselves, i'm sure i'll talk about interviews specifically later in a more detailed post, but i think surprisingly the the oral part is less difficult to teach, unless of course you are prone to fainting or vomiting at the thought of it.

I would have thought that in this age of autobiographies, (don't you love those ones written by famous 25 years olds that are updated every year) that it would be a little easier, but perhaps therein lies the problem. Maybe we feel that you have to earn the right to write about yourself, that you have to do monumental things to warrant writing about them. I have rarely enjoyed autobiographies written for commercial gain, i even studied this course at college and have always viewed them with mistrust but also from a literary perspective i have found them not enjoyable and not well written. Maybe i have not found the right one but they don't often deal with the regular everyday events that happen, but to me the most meaningful occurrences are those that we all endure and suffer, not how some overpaid actor gets off their face on drugs. And so i enjoy the process of working with people on their personal statements, getting them to relate the stories and ocurrences of their life that were really profound, but that they had always marginalized and viewed as not important. When each of us really looks at what we have done there is usually some pretty interesting stuff to talk about, maybe it's not headline material for tabloids but it's worth sharing, especially when people want to find out who we are in a 1000 word document. It is supposed to be personal, not a list of achievements or highlights, but a presentation of how we were able to do the things we've done, the challenges we faced and the things we have taken meaning in. I love working on those things with people and hearing their stories, some sad, some uplifting, some downright ridiculous but typically unique. And often what was a daunting assigned task becomes something that people actually enjoy doing.

On an absolute side rant, what is it with Facebook status updates. I kept quiet about Twitter, it's supposed to be short and quirky and filled with little irrelevances and throwaway comments, but FB was surely not designed for the drivel that gets put up on it. It's not a place to constantly bang the drum about political frustrations, and can you believe the amount of personal and emotional info people throw into their status updates, i don't know most of my "FB friends" well enough to be comfortable about reading some of their info that has no context or purpose behind it except to say pity me. Anyway, i've had a bit of a ramble there, but as Tiger Woods might say, we all stray. Oh and what about the quote of the year from Jesper Parnevik for telling it like it is, the only advice i have for Mrs Woods is that next time "use the driver not the 3 iron" Classic!

This week I was asked by a professor to teach a class called "skills employers value." Indeed it is an actual seminar that has been offered for many years here at UAB career services and i'm sure at many institutions across the country. At one time or another it has been entitled 'job keeping skills' or 'career development skills.' In reality the title should be 'seriously, do i really need to tell you this stuff'.' Can you imagine if i actually opened with that title. I might actually do it!

The content of said seminar gives such groundbreaking advice; be flexible, offer to help outside of your job description, constantly prove yourself, follow through on your commitments and other illuminating suggestions. I was actually sent an article a couple of days ago that related how a survey found that recent graduates were seen to be more unprofessional than ever before when entering the workforce, that they were not prepared to go the extra yard and seemingly made no effort to stand out from the crowd. So scarily the seminar it would seem is even more relevant now than it has ever been. But still i get embarrassed telling young adults and even established adults in this seminar that it is a good idea to show initiative, to be willing to take on new tasks; i feel like i'm patronising them.

Unfortunately it would seem that about 90% of people are happy just to do the minimum, to do what's on their job description and nothing more. How many times have you heard someone whine, "i'm not paid to do that." Nothing makes me more angry than hearing that. Ask yourself the question, when you're asking for a raise or looking for a promotion do you think that attitude hurts you, you better believe it.

So now we come to hard economic times, (i've barred myself from using the phrase, 'in this economy') people are being let go, companies are looking to get every bit of effort from smaller workforces and so there is even more need to come in early, stay a little late, help a colleague out, learn a new skill that will allow you to meet more needs of your employer. But wait, should we only be doing this now because we have to, now that doing more has become the minimum.

It is true that companies can take advantage of those people who never say no, who are always going the extra mile, but this person will always have options. In good times they will be able to change companies because their ethic and value is so easy to spot, they stand out because they are the minority. In bad times, they are the people companies can least afford to lose, not that they will never be let go, even they may feel the sting of unemployment, but they will be the last person out of the door and it will be an agonizing decision for the employer to let them go, because to let them go is to know the business is really in trouble and beyond simple cost-cutting.

The problem is that apathy and settling into a routine are hard things to break. We can all point to people who have gone stale (some people have never not been stale), and who have real difficulty adapting to change, hence turnover in organizations is so high when a new manager comes in with new ideas. So constantly challenging yourself is a necessity.

So make yourselves as hireable as you can, as unfireable as you can, and if you are ever in my 'skills employers value' seminar and feel like you want to leave, if you can possibly bear to, that would make me glad in a way!

I don't have a Jagger quote at this point.

Better Late than Never

It is about time that i wrote a blog. I claim to be an entertaining writer but i am a better procrastinator, in fact that ranks as one of my main skills, i'd never advise anyone to say that in an interview though.

So the deal is i provide career advice and teach career skills, hoping that my pearls of wisdom can help students achieve some things they otherwise may not have been achieved. I like to think i am good at that, well damn it i am, because i advise people to do something they are good at so i guess i have to say that. I like to use sport analogies and indeed random analogies of various kinds so expect to see plenty of that, if you don't like it, tough. If i was in Northern Ireland, where i was spawned and spent my formative years i would tell you to go do something colorful but i'm in the South so i'll be politically correct on that one. In fact many of my Northern irish friends will tell me to go do something colorful for even writing a blog.

Now that the introduction is over, brief as it was, i'd like to take a minute to discuss why i'm doing this, my mission as it were. I want to make sure that students, indeed anyone might pick up a few things that help them in their quest to get whatever it is they want. Vague i know.

So my first point of discussion is to question those ridiculous statements such as "you should only ever do what you love," "if you do what you love you'll never work a day in your life" and "you should love your job so much you should be willing to do it for free." You better believe i'm getting paid, and not enough thank you very much. We've all heard these statements thrown out by some overpaid keynote speaker, who fails to say just how you make that happen! Depending on my mood my reaction has been to think 'well aren't you lucky' or 'i really want to chin you right now.....as in a lot.' We don't always have the luxury of holding out for that dream job and our situation often dictates that we must do what we have to, not what we want to. I would argue that more people have a job they dislike than the opposite. I doubt working in McDonalds has many dreamlike qualities associated with it.

I will put the disclaimer out there that of course you should aim to have the job you want and that it is entirely possible to get the job you love. I count myself as having those very jobs that i want and love, see value in-but i have been lucky. I had parents who worked to send me to a good school, instilled a sound work ethic, but i have held less glamorous jobs, have sucked it up and did things i would never want to do again to either pay for something or earn the right to do something better. Of course you also have people who are lazy, who complain and don't try to change things but you can never dismiss the fact that people sometimes just don't have the right situation or opportunity before them.

All that to say we don't always get to do what we want to do, but it's usually possible to get something a little better, a little more loveable just by doing a little more, being a little better. And so if we make things a little better each time maybe we can earn the right to do what we love if we make the best out of our situation, those of us who are lucky enough to have that chance should take it and make the best of it. And if that sounds a little too sugary I'll let Mick Jagger say it for me!

"you can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you might find, you get what you need!"

On a final note, if you have any suggestions for a new title let me know!